When you have to walk away

Sometimes someone will not respect your boundaries and when that happens, you may have to walk away from the relationship or situation. This can feel very difficult. You may feel guilty or like you're hurting them. You might feel like you are being mean, or that walking away represents a failure. Because of enmeshment and trauma bonding, you may find it even harder. But remember: using words like "can't” reinforces the conditioning that has kept you in the situation. You can separate from the other person. You haven't for whatever reason, but it isn't because you can't.

It's important to remember that your needs are just as important as the other person's - whether they agree with that or not. It's up totally up to you to assert that and require others to recognize it. If you don't, they won't. It's also important to understand what your responsibilities are. It is not your responsibility to make sure other people's needs are met, that they are happy or anything else. It is not your responsibility to worry about or fix how they feel regarding your decision to leave the situation. Your responsibility is to do the best you can to take care of yourself. That's it.

And most importantly, remember that there is a difference between abandoning somebody and escaping them.